Thursday, August 30, 2012

Hall of Fame and Shame: Persistent Villains

Villains. Bosses. Bad guys. Call them whatever you want but they're always there to mess up the hero's plan. Most of them really do try to put forth a solid effort in stopping the protagonist from achieving their goal. Some develop really intricate schemes, others have outrageous fortresses lined with traps and hazards, while others still may just use brute force in the form of a massive amount of money and/or weaponry.  But what separates the champs from the chumps in the villains' world? It's not about whether or not you were defeated. I mean c'mon, you're the bad guy! You already know going into this that you're gonna lose.  What really matters, is will you try again? Revise your scheme to fix the weak points? Or maybe just try the same strategy again and hope for a different result?  Here's a list of baddies that never seem to give up...and the ones that didn't make many attempts.


Your Rival
From: Pokemon series
Status: Shame




You may have kept his default name as Blue or maybe decided to reenact the show and name him Gary, or named him a random insult like Dickhead but whatever his name was your rival was a pain in the ass from day one. As soon as you pick your pokemon, he wants the one that has a natural advantage to yours. Everytime you've just finished an important mission, and your team is slightly wounded he's going to inconveniently show up to challenge you. And then finally you beat the Elite Four and you walk that long hallway after Lance's room, and there he is with that smug look, ready to gloat about being the best in the world.  But that didnt last long did it? You defeat him, take on the role of Champion, and your rival never shows his disgraced face again.  Guess he gave up. So much for wanting to be the very best there ever was.


Dr. Robotnik
From: Sonic series
Status: Fame




Dr. Ivo Robotnik is a brilliant scientist with a huge IQ of 300 (along with a gut and mustache to match) but apparently being book smart doesn't always equal out to common sense. Robotnik (I refuse to call him "Eggman") has been chasing after Sonic and pals for over two decades with his non-stop army of robots created from helpless animals.  Every single time, Sonic manages to defeat him and yet Robotnik will hop in his little hover pod, retreat to safety, spend time and money on an even bigger robot, then go right back at it. He just doesn't know when to quit! I'd also like to point out that this guy created a Death Star-like space station, it crashed after a defeat by Sonic, then he re-launched it into space, and finished construction! This isn't like the size of a dump truck, we're talking a SPACE STATION of death.You sir, have my respect.




Sephiroth
From: Final Fantasy series
Status: Shame





Sephiroth is an MVP in the villain world, highly regarded especially by fans, but why? Is it the long flowing hair, the cool sword, the death glare?  I mean what did he really do? Mistakenly thinks he's descended from ancient godlike creatures and wanted to become a god himself, tried to destroy a single planet in the process, failed, died, and is never seen again (excluding spin-offs.) But like seriously, one planet, Sephiroth? Just one? Kefka puts you to shame sir. Realistically, the most villainous thing Sephiroth has done was kill poor Aerith.  Despite your name, appearance, and music being badass you're actually kind of a joke. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go brace myself for all the Sephiroth fanboys' hate mail.


Ganon
From: Legend of Zelda series
Status: Fame




Dark Lord of evil and not an ounce of good in this guy. He's just bad straight to his core. In one form he's a big boar-like demon sometimes standing on two legs, other times more like a beast on four. In his other form he's more human, a sorcerer of dark magic. This guy is the epitome of persistent and he will be reincarnated every time the Hero of Time is reincarnated so there's a constant struggle to keep his evil out of the world. Ganon is so evil that even when he was sealed away in the Sacred Realm his corrupt evil spread and when he finally broke out, he brought that evil world back with him. Aside from using magic and creating monsters, Ganon is also skilled in hand to hand combat, sword fighting, and horseback fighting. This guy's just, to quote Austin Powers, "dag nasty evil." Did you notice I used the word "evil" 6 times before this sentence? Yeah, there's a reason for that.



Count Bleck
From: Paper Mario series
Status: Shame




Everyone knows in the Mario universe that Bowser is the bad guy. And in most of the Paper Mario series this continues to be true. But in Super Paper Mario, a new villain takes the helm and he's....well, underwhelming. His plan starts by forcing Peach to marry Bowser (oh that horrible fiend!), then creating a Chaos Heart to open a universal void that will slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) destroy all worlds. And why is he doing this? Because his daddy said he and his girlfriend couldn't see each other, and made them break up. I'll give him props, instead of being like every other emo kid and cutting his wrist when life doesn't go his way, Bleck decided to take it out on the rest of the world. But even then he still failed. Not only was he defeated by Mario (as to be expected) but also betrayed by one of his own henchmen in the same day. He would've seen it coming if he weren't such a noob. And so the well-dressed Count Bleck has never made another appearance, and Bowser resumed his role as Mario's primary antagonist.



Dr. Wily
From: Mega Man series
Status: Fame


The second mad scientist of this list is Dr. Albert Wily and unlike Robotnik, Wily built his robots from scratch instead of enslaving animals. Wily is a brilliant mind who created a huge arsenal of Robot Masters, mechas and fortresses. His story seems to be a repetitive one: attack the city/world with robots, get defeated by Mega Man and then get on his knees and plead for mercy. Instead of killing him, Mega Man lets him go and Wily gets arrested only to eventually find a way to break out of jail. Lather, rinse, repeat. Even loss of body parts won't stop this guy as seen in the Battle Network series where Wily is shown to have a mechanical eye! Wily has been the bad guy for EVERY game in the Mega Man (classic) series. "What about Dr. Cossack in Mega Man IV" you ask?  That was Wily too. He kidnapped Cossack's daughter to force him to fight Mega Man. You would think if the same man tried to kill you 20+ times, you would stop believing him when he says he's going to change. Wily's motto seems to be "if at first you don't succeed....try try try try try try try again."



Onaga
From: Mortal Kombat series
Status: Shame




Onaga, also known as The Dragon King, was the ruler of Outworld long before Shao Kahn (the series' primary antagonist.) Onaga and his army were deemed invincible due to Onaga's ability to raise the dead, allowing him to consistently bring his army back. But Shao Kahn, who served as an advisor to Onaga poisoned him, and the Dragon King's army was mummified.  So fast forward a bit, and we find Shang Tsung and Quan Chi (the Thelma and Louise of the Mortal Kombat world) have discovered Onaga's mummified army and plan to revive them to take over Outworld. Raiden attempts to stop them, and loses, when suddenly, the big guy himself burst into the room. The Dragon King had been revived as the last existing dragon egg hatched, and he used Reptile's body as a host. So for one whole game, Onaga wreaked havoc on players until he was defeated and sealed away in the Netherrealm, and players continued to fight Shao Kahn as their final boss.



Bowser
From: Mario series
Status: Fame




Bowser is the herpes of bad guys. No matter what you do you will never get rid of him. I don't know if he does it for fun, or for sport, but every game is the same: Kidnap the princess (and/or the brother), watch Mario show up and win. Every. Time. In later games he has shown the ability to teleport, grow in size, cast dark fireballs and other weird powers but originally Bowser could only shoot fireballs and throw hammers. What's with the hammer obsession anyway? Did Bowser just go to Ace Hardware and buy out every hammer in every store, and equip his minions with them? Anyway we're not sure how Bowser survives, but time and time again he is cast into black holes, lava pits, and even suns and yet with every new Mario game, Bowser is back in action. You can't help but admire his tenacity though.



General Tsao
From: Sly Cooper series
Status: Shame






General Tsao is not only a tasty meal, but also an antagonist in one of the Sly Cooper games. As would be expected, he's a giant rooster and his main obsession is with his family lineage. He believes that his bloodline is the best, and that mating with the Panda King's daughter (who also has great heritage) will continue his bloodline and make it even stronger. He was completely oblivious that his prisoner had been switched out for a cop until he was arrested. Arrested in the same game he was introduced in, if I may point out. If you're gonna fall for something that lame, you deserve to lose. ...Can chickens even mate with pandas? I'm sure there's a dark corner of the internet that talks about this.


Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde
From: Pacman series
Status: Fame



The Ghost Gang from the Pacman series are shining examples of both teamwork and persistency. They work together for the common goal of chasing down Pacman and stopping him from eating all the pellets. Each of the four ghosts have a nickname that corresponds to their strategy in hunting Pacman. The leader, Blinky (red) is the first out of the ghost house and he gets his nickname "Shadow" from always being the one to directly go after Pacman. "Bashful" is the blue ghost named Inky and is known as such because he will not chase Pacman directly, unless Blinky is close by. The only female of the group is Pinky. Her nickname is "Speedy" because instead of going directly for Pacman, she instead chases him in the direction he is going and is usually first to reach him. Bringing up the rear, as he does when leaving the ghost house is Clyde the orange ghost. His nickname is "Pokey" both because he is slow to leave the ghost house, and he's been known to be a little slow in the head too. He randomly does whatever he wants until Pacman is close, then he pursues. Together these 4 Ghosts do literally nothing but chase Pacman until they are eaten, in which case they return to the ghost house, and wait to do it all over again.



There's another entry in the Hall of Fame and Shame! Did you enjoy it? Can you think of any I missed? Have suggestions for the next Hall of Fame/Shame? I'd love to hear from you if you have suggestions, coments, or questions! Please be sure to check out my other articles as well!

Monday, August 27, 2012

New Super Mario Bros 2 - Review

"Can you collect 1,000,000 coins?" This is the challenge issued by Nintendo when they announced New Super Mario Bros. 2 at the 2012 Electronics Entertainment Expo.  When I first heard this I thought "Wow, that's nuts. How's this even possible?" But then I started seeing gameplay footage of the game and when they say the Mushroom Kingdom is bursting with coins, they aren't joking!


At first glance it looks like another typical Mario title complete with Goombas, Koopas, "?" Blocks, platforms, mushrooms, etc. Then I came to a coin brick that you can hit repeatedly and like any good Mario player, I do just that. Suddenly, the block dislodges from its suspended place in the air, and became stuck on Mario's head, and every few steps I took, a coin got added to my total! Curious, I began running and jumping and coins started streaming out of the block on Mario's head. Now I'm only 20 seconds into the first level of the game and I've already got 60 coins and suddenly the one million mark doesn't seem like it will be as daunting of a task.

This game is a direct sequel to the original New Super Mario Bros. for the DS and just like its predecessor and New Super Mario Bros Wii,  NSMB2 keeps the same style, music, and gameplay. You know how in NSMBWii the Koopas and Goombas dance to the music?  Yeah, that's back too!  A 2D side scrolling platformer, get to the end of the level and touch the flagpole, collecting coins and power-ups along the way. The difference is this time, almost everything you do can cause coins to appear. And I mean everything. If you see a ledge that just looks out of place and serves no purpose, hop on it, and a couple rows of coins can appear out of thin air!  Hit a switch and pipes may start spewing coins everywhere! Wario would probably have a seizure if he saw this vagrant display of financial hijinks. There may even be something if you reach the flagpole under certain conditions.... Hmm....

The Tanooki Leaf makes a return in NSMB2 and this time it functions more like the original one in the NES's Super Mario Bros. 3.  Grabbing the leaf will turn you into Racoon Mario allowing you to whip enemies and blocks with a swing of your tail and flutter down slowly from a jump or fall. Also returning from Mario 3 is the ability to take flight after running a short distance, allowing you to reach greater heights (and more coins!) Pro tip: if a block gives you the Tanooki Leaf, you should probably try flying up somewhere in that immediate vicinity. Just sayin'.

A new power-up item in this game is the Golden Fire Flower which turns you into -- you guessed it -- Golden Mario. And let me tell you, this item is about as awesome as a Mario power-up can get. As Golden Mario you will throw fireballs that are golden in color, and every enemy it hits will give you 5 coins, or if you hit a chain of enemies the number of coins will increase like multipliers. Every block that gets hit will turn into a coin, and also destroy surrounding blocks into coins as well. You can unleash sheer golden fury and wipe out whole screens worth of enemies and blocks with this item, all the while fueling your own greed for coins. I'm not usually a perfectionist, but damn it when I had that golden fire power in my hands, there wasn't a single block or straggling Koopa left unscorched. I turned them all into cash without a single one left to tell the tale.



One of the other new additions is the Golden Ring that when touched, turns all enemies in the area to gold. Eliminating them or otherwise using them (such as kicking a Koopa shell) will produce coins. This effect lasts for about 10 full seconds so make sure to take advantage of it as best you can! It feels really good to jump on a Koopa, get five coins, then kick it so a trail of money starts flowing behind it, chase after it, and watch as every enemy it encounters gets you an increasing amount of coins per hit.You may not think you're greedy now, and you're not going to bother trying to collect a million coins, but let me tell you when you see that money popping up everywhere, you're gonna find yourself going out of your way to grab every last coin. You will make daredevil jumps and take risks you'd normally never think about just to make sure you nab every single penny.

The hub world consists of a map with levels that must be completed to form a path to the next level. Also present on the hub screen is a counter that tracks your total coin count that you have collected throughout the game. It's this very coin counter that will mock you and also motivate you. Every time you enter a level, you see the numbers there, telling you how far you've come or how far you still have left to go, (y'know the whole half-empty, half-full thing) to reach that shiny million mark. As is typical of the Mario formula, each world has a theme (grasslands, desert, iceland, etc) and you can only progress to the next world after clearing the castle of your current world. Each area has some levels that can only be accessed by discovering secret exits within some of the levels themselves and these new areas can open shortcuts across the maps or take you to new areas with special coin levels, like for example riding on a platform while hundreds of coins are just rained down upon you and your only goal is to collect as many as possible. Pretty sweet right?

New Super Mario Bros. 2 features two new modes as well. For those who loved playing co-op in New Super Mario Bros. Wii, you can relive the fun and frantic action with a 2nd player who also owns the game via local wireless connection.  With Luigi at your side you can topple enemies together and also work together and gather as many coins as possible. ...Or choose to betray each other so you can get more. Whatever strategy works best for you. The other mode is one that everyone seemed excited about and I didn't share their enthusiasm until I played it.  The all-new Coin Rush Mode gives you a single life, and throws you into a set of three randomly selected stages from levels you've already cleared. Your goal is to race to the finish as quickly as possible, while also collecting as many coins as you can along the way. Getting the highest number of coins in the fastest possible time can only be accomplished by practicing speed runs, and studying where the biggest amounts of coins can be found in each level. It's quite an experience trying to rush through a level, yet grab every coin, and avoid hazards. It's a nice balance of risk and reward and you may impress yourself with how fast you can go when that timer starts flashing red. Also if you have Streetpass enabled for the game you can send and receive Coin Rush challenges to see if you can beat other player's high scores.

New Super Mario Bros. 2 has quite a bit to offer and will give you hours of gameplay goodness. But like all good things it does have to come to an end, and the replay value isn't the best.  Sure there's all the hidden levels to find,  and there are 3 Star Coins hidden in every level and of course reaching your one million coin goal.  But after you beat the game, there really isn't much more to do, as is typical of most Mario games. But it'll take you a while to get to that point, and Nintendo has released waves of paid DLC producing all-new Coin Rush challenges and special levels to try out.


***Synopsis***
New Super Mario Bros. 2 brings about classic Mario side scrolling gameplay, with the added task of gathering as many coins as humanly possible (and then gathering more.)  What happens when you get to 1,000,000?  I'm not gonna tell you here, so only one way to find out. Co-op and Coin Rush Modes allow for new ways to play and test your platforming and coin collecting skills. Great game if you're a fan of the Mario series.


Have you hit the 1,000,000 mark? Do you have a Coin Rush video you want to show off? Contact me with your questions and comments, maybe show off some of your records. I'm here for all your gaming needs!

Persona 4 Arena Review

Available on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360
So I'll be the first to admit, I actually know nothing about the Persona series.  I was unaware of its existence until I saw this game and at some point I'll try to check out some of the other entries to the franchise. A friend brought this game to my attention a few days before it came out, and we decided to try it out. Persona 4 Arena is a fighting game brought to you by the same people who worked on BlazBlue games as well as the Guilty Gear series and produced by Atlus.  If you're unaware of what all this means, let me translate for you: this game is fighting genre gold.

Controls for this game are very similar to that of Guilty Gear and they're extremely well-done. Every character has a Persona, representing who they want to be or what they want to achieve in life and these Personas can be called into battle to aid in attacks. You earn damage by attacking the opposing player directly but if you attack their Persona enough times you can disable it from coming out for a few seconds which can prove vital to a winning strategy. This game has multiple combos and chains that are easy to learn with different ways to string them together and every character has flashy special moves and even a One Hit K.O. move in the last round for a visually dazzling finisher. For people who are new to more in-depth fighting games the game has a training and tutorial mode that will get even the most novice player into the game quickly.  Persona 4 Arena has the classic formula of easy to learn, hard to master and it will keep you coming back for more.

The story takes place directly after the events of Persona 4, with the mysterious Midnight Channel appearing back on the air. The investigation team goes to check it out to see if the rumors are true, and when they look inside the TV as before, they don't see other people, but themselves competing in a tournament of sorts. The story mode for the game is pretty deep and anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I'm a HUGE supporter of story in any game and P4A doesn't disappoint for the most part.  The story follows the individual characters, letting you hear their thoughts, follow the action and it goes pretty deep.  It's well written, and beautifully presented between still screens with voice actors and fully animated scenes. But the story mode is also one of my biggest complaints with the game. Fighting games are not meant to have a lot of story, or if they do, there should be enough action involved to keep your attention.  I went into story mode, expecting a few paragraphs or pages of text/dialogue, then a fight or two, then repeat.  Unfortunately I sat through 30 minutes of mostly pointless plot and inner monologue to finally be greeted by a fight that lasted all of 25 seconds, then more plot. I realize story is important, especially to this franchise, but you gotta give me a little more action than that in a story.

Persona 4 Arena really shines in presentation.  From the neon-colored menus, to the fast animations of the fights and attacks, right down to the J-Pop/Techno soundtrack. Every attack, combo, and special in the game has so many frames that the animation is very fluid. The characters are well-drawn, and the attacks are creative, especially Teddie. Every level available to play on is a creative spin on one of the locales of the characters' high school and the music is always upbeat, fast paced, and increases the action. As previously mentioned, during the last round of a fight, when certain conditions are met a character gains access to a One Hit K.O. finishing move, and if it connects you'll see a combination of in-game sprites, cartoon animation, and 3D effects.  All of the finishing moves are really a sight to behold and give a feeling of more accomplishment to a win. I would almost compare this game's flashy graphics to that of Marvel vs. Capcom 3, but it's not quite there yet so you don't have to keep your optometrist on speed dial.

One of the first things I noticed about P4A when I loaded the game for the first time was the number of modes. Between Story, Training, Tutorial, Arcade, Challenges, Online and more, this game really has a lot to offer.  As usual in a fighting game Arcade mode pits you against CPU-controlled opponents that increase in difficulty as you progress. Challenge mode lets you take the skills you've learned and try to complete move sets and combos to help you learn your characters better. The online fighting mode has quite a few options for filtering your opponents such as region, skill level, and more to keep you from getting in too far over your head.  There's also a rating system and a level-up system for various skills you may use, such as how often you throw or how many special moves you've performed. I noticed slight lag in the animation aspects sometimes, but never any noticeable breaks in gameplay. Definitely a fun opportunity to test your skills against other players around the world!


 



***Synopsis***
Persona 4 Arena is a fighting game from the creators of BlazBlue and Guilty Gear with tight controls, a variety of game modes, and a dazzling presentation. The game's visuals and soundtrack are astounding and there's a very deep (albeit frustratingly unsatisfying) story mode. Must-own for any fighting fan.


Gameplay: 8.5 - Responsive controls, easy-to-learn but hard-to-master fighting system for combos. Great for beginners, and veterans alike.

Graphics/Presentation: 9.5 - Animated cutscenes along with high quality voice acting in story mode,  fluid animations and bright, colorful menus. Awesome finishing moves, special attacks and combos.

Story: 6.5 - The story itself is very well done with deep character development, but this score is hurt by the gameplay aspect of the story mode. 30 seconds of gameplay after 20 minutes of reading really doesn't balance out well, in my opinion.

Sound/Music: 8.0 - Some of the repetitive voice clips during fights can be mildly annoying but is by no means a deal-breaker. The music of this game is great. Every stage is set to a Techno/J-Pop style soundtrack that keeps the game feeling upbeat and energetic. Depending on where you buy your copy, a lot of new copies of Persona 4 Arena include a soundtrack with it!

Replay Value: 8.5 - Story mode has a number of characters to play through as, and there are a variety of other modes including Arcade and 30 Challenges for each character, and a fully equipped Online mode to let you play with friends, foes, and strangers alike.

Overall Score: 40.5/50


Overall Persona 4 Arena is a fantastic game for any lover of fighting games and it takes a lot of skill to fully master it.  Comments? Questions? Fight requests? Contact me for all of your gaming needs!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Top 5 Indications of a Boss Battle

As a gamer nothing will get your adrenaline rushing more than knowing you're about to enter a boss fight. You've fought your way through a level, a dungeon, a stage and now the action is about to come to a head. In mere moments you will be staring down a formidable enemy ready to end your quest and you get a knot in the pit of your stomach. From the old days of the NES to modern day games, there has always been a few ways to tell that the boss is looming just ahead, Some of them are a welcome sight to see while others serve to further the intimidation factor.


#5
The Boss Door



This is probably the most used and easily recognizable sign that you're about to be in for the fight of your life. Usually requiring some type of key that was earned elsewhere in the level, sometimes the door is huge and intimidating while other times it's subtle but with that eerie, ominous feeling of dread. Rarely is there a boss entrance that's just an open space to walk into. The developers want you to make an active decision to progress forward towards the challenge. So take a breath, steady your nerves, and open it.


#4
The Audio


So you're walking down a hallway, not sure what's coming up. You've been playing this level for 30 minutes, solving puzzles, wrecking baddies, and exploring when suddenly the music changes. The room falls quiet. A slow, deep, dark sound is rising around you as if the depths of Hell are creeping up on your shoulder. Maybe you hear sounds like growling, footsteps, or evil laughter depending on the threat that lies ahead. When the same music you've been hearing for a whole level takes a sudden change, you better put on your big boy pants.


#3
Newer Enemies



As you progress through the dungeon/level you're in you probably start seeing a repeat of the same similar enemies over and over.  And one by one you continue to trounce them with ease. Then you enter a room, and suddenly you're greeted by a new threat! It's not a boss, but perhaps a new strong creature guarding the boss room unlike any of the others you've seen so far.  These tend to be strong and serve as a means to get you warmed up (or weakened) for the even bigger threat that awaits after their defeat. Sometimes after defeating these sub-bosses you are rewarded with the next item on the list....


#2
Healing Items









Game developers aren't cruel, horrible people (most of the time) and they realize that after fighting through a whole level, you've probably taken some damage here and there.  If the boss room has some sort of guardian it's almost guaranteed that your health is low and this, my friends, is where healing items come in.  Almost all boss areas will have a major healing item (such as restoring one's health to full) outside the door. Others will have some way of healing DURING the boss fight, maybe scattered around through the room.  But if you ever see a fully healing item, it's probably safe to assume you're going to need it very soon.


#1
The Save Point


One of the most tried and true signs of an oncoming boss fight is a save point.  These come in two forms: a physical point where you must go up and actively choose to save your file (sometimes right next to #2's healing item),  and the other one is a bit more scary--the autosave!  So you walk into a room, doesn't seem too dangerous, and then you see whatever autosave icon your game has appear somewhere on the screen. Oh man, the game is saving by itself, something bad's about to---OH NO A CUT SCENE!!!  Yep, good luck with that. These two can give contrasting feelings because the physical save point is usually a sign of relief, knowing you have a place to go and save and maybe rest before continuing on.  While the autosave just sneaks up on you when it's too late.

So next time if you're playing a game and you encounter a strong enemy, defeat it and find a healing item, a save point, and a big door in the same room,  and the music starts changing....odds are you're close to the boss.  What are some other things you've experienced?  Something I may have missed?  Comment here, or contact me via the information in my profile because I'd love suggestions! 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Seven Deadly Sins - Nintendo Edition

Nintendo's library is home to a wide array of characters and personalities, most of which are friendly, cute, and happy faces.  But some of these characters have a dark secret:  struggling with a deadly sin!  Let's check out which of Nintendo's finest have skeletons in their closet.

Wrath
Ganondorf




It just seems like this guy is never happy. Kidnapping princesses, turning whole realms into evil places swarming with monsters, I mean come on, dark magic energy flows from this guy like swag from George Clooney. Ganondorf is wrath incarnate, and SOMEONE needs to try and give this guy a hug.  ...Not it.


Gluttony
Kirby





It's kinda hard to not be considered a glutton when literally ALL you do is eat. Sucking up food, eating enemies, swallowing blocks,  Kirby's diet really isn't very particular at all.  Kirby is the only fat kid girls seem to find cute, if only they knew the extent of his evil deeds.


Envy
Luigi




Imagine how it must feel to spend 25 years in the shadow of your older brother.  Never getting any attention, always playing the sidekick, wanting attention for yourself. Sure they let you play sports, race karts, and maybe you even get your own title once every 10 years, but that's not enough for you IS IT?! Luigi is the epitome of envy, and it even shows in the green clothes he's known for.


Pride
Falco





Arrogant, cocky, brash, brazen, selfish....all traits that Falco possesses.  He's the loud-mouthed ace pilot of the Star Fox team, and he wants to make sure EVERYBODY knows it. You can't have Falco say more than 3 lines without at least one of those stroking his prideful ego.





Sloth
Peach





Never have I seen royalty as lazy and useless as Peach.  This woman allegedly rules a kingdom and has an entire civilization at her beck and call and all she does is sit on her ass until she gets kidnapped.  Then she just sits on her ass and waits to get rescued. She CLAIMS she's baked cakes, but nobody's ever seen them.


Greed (Avarice)
Wario




Ever since he was first introduced, Wario's sole driving force has been greed. He wants money, and he'll do whatever he needs to do to ensure he gets it, even if it means putting his name on a collection of bad minigames. When he's not busy trying to sell his minigames to the unsuspecting public he's literally shaking enemies and robbing them of their hard-earned (stolen) money. What a bully.

Lust
Mario




You know that you've got a problem with lust when you abandon your career to take on the sole hobby of going after the same girl for years with no results.  Mario has been chasing the same piece of tail into the ocean, across deserts, and even into space for over two decades without so much as a kiss on the lips, but his lust will carry him forward.  The only reason he even has adventures is because he can't stop thinking about this one chick and her imaginary cakes. So frickin whipped.